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New Endings....


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Enjoy! :D


* I believe no problem is so large or so difficult ... that it can't

be blamed on somebody else.


* A journey of a thousand miles begins with ... a broken fan belt

and a leaky tire.


* People who live in glass houses ... shouldn't cavort nude on top

of the piano doing gorilla impersonations.


* It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, ... and fewer still

to ignore someone completely.


* I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows...

And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car

rusts and...


* Follow your dream! ... Unless it's the one where you're at work

in your underwear during a fire drill.


* If you don't like my driving, ... don't call anyone. Just take

another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.



* If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek... Nothing

gets the message across like a good mooning.



* Into every life some rain must fall... Usually when your car

windows are down.


* A man's best friend is his dog... That's assuming you want a

friend who messes on your carpet and drools on your newspaper.


* If I won the lottery,... I wouldn't be one of those people who

immediately quit their jobs. I'd make my boss's life a living hell

for a week or two first.


* I don't know about art, ... but I know what makes me say, "$2000

for that piece of junk?! Are you nuts?!"


* Somewhere, over the rainbow... that's where the airline will find

my luggage.


* This land is your land. This land is my land... So stay on your



* Love is like a roller coaster: when it's good you don't want to

get off, and when it isn't... you can't wait to throw up.



I've found a sure way to relieve office stress:

Step 1: take a deep breath;

Step 2: count to 10;

Step 3: set the boss's wastebasket on fire.

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