Mr. Brown at Wal-Mart

[tawss04]

Dear Mrs. Brown,

 

Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Brown has been causing

quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior

and are considering banning your entire family from shopping in any of our

stores.

 

We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.

Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband

has caused. All complaints against Mr. Brown have been compiled and are

listed below.

 

Mr. Wally Zimbrowski,

 

Wal-Mart Complaint Department

 

 

 

MEMO

 

Re: Mr. Bill Brown - Complaints -

 

15 Things Mr. Brown has done while his spouse was shopping:

 

1. June 15 - Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's

carts when they weren't looking.

 

2. July 2 - Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

intervals.

 

3. July 7 - Made a trail of pineapple juice on the floor leading to the

restrooms.

 

4. July 19 - Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,

"Code 3 in housewares"..... and watched what happened.

 

5. August 4 - Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on

lay-away.

 

6. September 14 - Moved a ' CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 

7. September 15 - Set up a tent in the camping department and told other

shoppers he'd invite them in if they'd bring pillows from the bedding

department.

 

8. September 23 - When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry

and asks "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

 

9. October 4 - Looked right into the security camera, used it as a

mirror, and picked his nose!

 

10. November 10 - While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the

clerk if he knew where the antidepressants were.

 

11. December 3 - Darted suspiciously around the store, loudly humming the

"Mission Impossible" theme.

 

12. December 6 - In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"

using different size funnels.

 

13. December 18 - Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,

yelled "PICK ME, PICK ME!"

 

14. December 21 - When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he

assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO, NO, It's those voices

again!!!!"

 

(And; last, but not least!)

 

15. December 23 - Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a

while, then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

[Kim]

I haven't seen that list in forever. It used to be called 15 things to do at walmart or something like that. I like 11, 13, 15 the best.

[Holty]

LOL - now thats funny!

[Texas_Veteran]

This list just made my Wal-Mart trips a whole lot more enjoyable.