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wtf up with my best friend?


brobradh77

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Posted

First off let me apologize for my wordiness but i am having a hard time with this. We have been friends for around 16 years and I guess I need to realize that our friendship maybe over and it is all over some stupid shit I am about to get into. It started several years ago but I always put up with it but now I think I have finally had enough. See he likes to go into this mood where he blocks me from aol and wont answer hiis phone and doesnt respond to my e-mail. As the responsibilities of being a BF comes being there foreach other even if not convinient. I have always been on the other end of the phone when he needed me. When we are together we know each other better than anyone else and he has always told me I am like a brother to him. Really a brother? It scares me to think he would treat his family like this. I guess he is so full of himself that he can treat his friends and girlfriends this way and know they will always be there when he decides he needs them. Cutting it short it ended on thanksgiving when 2 weeks earlier he needed something and I spotted him $220 and when it was time to payme back he went thru his blocking me crap so I got pissed and went to his house opened his door since he wouldnt answer it and yelled at him. Now he wants nothing to do with me because I annoyed him over the money. He had a f'n week to respond to me. Who is right in this situation and should I just say f@#k him and move on?

Posted

Sometimes, when people owe money to someone, regardless of who it is, they hide. I have friends that have been hiding from me for years over less than $100.00. It is sad that they think our friendship has a price. Maybe he doesn't know his friendship is worth more than the $220.00 owed. :dunno:

Posted

money will end friendships. if you give money to a friend you should never expect it back. it's just bad news.

Posted

Dude you called that your bestfriend? The guy is a douche. I don't even know you and I wouldn't do that to you. F-him. Go spend your time doing something else. In no time he'll come crawling back with your money and just take the money and run. You don't need this kind of shit in your life...right? I also lent money to my friends and for whatever reasons I get pay back in stereo equipment or auto parts but atleast they attempt to pay me back and not hide and make you look like the one who's an ass.

Posted

I have to agree with the posters so Far.. never lend or borrow from friends, it almost always causes trouble, OK if its like $20 and you can afford not to ever get paid back then lend away but never lend more than you can really afford to lose, if you do you'll probably lose a friend.

you have 2 choices either

1.forget about the money (he probably can't afford to pay you back) so tell him not to worry about repayment.. but don't lend him anymore.

2.forget about it, so you've lost money and a friend, but although you say he was more like a brother..would a brother treat you that way? do you need him as a friend?? or more to the point can you afford him as a friend?.

Sorry to be so blunt but at my age I've made and lost lots of acquaintances who appeared to be friends...who have used me for their own means.. true friends ask for nothing apart from friendship....

 

I hope everything turns out OK for you

eamonn

Posted

I had my ex best freind stab me in the back over some BS. I ended up winning that stab match eventually and the best part is that he gets to see me stabbing him back all the time! :thumbs: Things just aren't that serious. People are different and some people do some wierd things sometimes. Just let it go, move on and take the loss of cash as a lesson learned.

Posted

If it was me in that situation with a friend of 16 years I wouldn't end it over $220, it is just money when it comes down to it and maybe he can't repay you. Is his friendship worth more than the money to you? If it is then have a chat with him about his behavior and let him know how it feels when he treats you like that and then after that, don't lend him money again. If he blocks people out like that he may have some psychological problems and needs to have those addressed.

 

you are also right eamonnschevy about true friends only ask for friendship but if I was in a bind and I couldn't get money from my family I would ask a close friend to me........I always pay back debts though with interest.

Posted

yea motorider228 but not everyone has the same attitude as you if they did the banks would be out of business,lol. i would see what i could sell before asking for a loan, theres always something sitting around which you don't need which can be turned into cash.and ebay can be a freat cash generator ... its sad to loose a friend over money which is why i don't borrow or lend anymore, i have been known to offer friends money if i know they need it, but only if i can afford to not be repaid, if they pay it back then its a bonus..

i just hope Brad can work it out with his buddy...

Posted

Yes I also loan money and don't expect it back because that's how my parents are. I was also raised where if I borrow something, I give it back better than I got it. It's just a plus though when I get back the stuff I loan out. If i'm not willing to totally part with the money or the object I usually don't loan it out.

Posted

I forgot to mention that he did pay me back on Thanksgiving and that is when he told me how annoying I was about it and he didnt want to hear from me again. I appreciate y'alls take on this and I do think he has some psych. problems like dpression or something anytime anyone gets to close to him he mainly kept it to his girlfriends and now it has morphed to anyone he may care about. :dunno:

Posted

lots of people these days are fake. but to know someone for 16 years and have them do something like that is kind of bogus. something else must be going down on his side. if my friend needs some help $ i'd help him out. money managment is a big problem for some people, and to me 220 isn't that much to borrow/ lend. if he didn't have the money for whatever he was buying.....he didn't need it. but you showed the type of person you were to help your "friend" out.

 

Alan

Posted
I forgot to mention that he did pay me back on Thanksgiving and that is when he told me how annoying I was about it and he didnt want to hear from me again. I appreciate y'alls take on this and I do think he has some psych. problems like dpression or something anytime anyone gets to close to him he mainly kept it to his girlfriends and now it has morphed to anyone he may care about. :dunno:

 

Ok...

 

Now that you've added this detail, you may want to evaluate how you behaved.

Your friend may have thought you were being abrupt and unreasonable on collecting your money on Thanksgiving...a family holiday. He paid you back and probably intended to do so, but thought maybe you were thinking he wasn't going to pay you back by your actions.

IMHO, it sounds as both of you could have handled yourselves better. I'm not flaming you or him. It sounds as though you both found the limits of the friendship.

You & him have to decide if it's worth the time & effort to fix it.

:dunno:

 

Two most common causes of problems between friends...women & money ;)

Posted
I forgot to mention that he did pay me back on Thanksgiving and that is when he told me how annoying I was about it and he didnt want to hear from me again. I appreciate y'alls take on this and I do think he has some psych. problems like dpression or something anytime anyone gets to close to him he mainly kept it to his girlfriends and now it has morphed to anyone he may care about. :dunno:

 

Ok...

 

Now that you've added this detail, you may want to evaluate how you behaved.

Your friend may have thought you were being abrupt and unreasonable on collecting your money on Thanksgiving...a family holiday. He paid you back and probably intended to do so, but thought maybe you were thinking he wasn't going to pay you back by your actions.

IMHO, it sounds as both of you could have handled yourselves better. I'm not flaming you or him. It sounds as though you both found the limits of the friendship.

You & him have to decide if it's worth the time & effort to fix it.

:dunno:

 

Two most common causes of problems between friends...women & money ;)

 

I never told him to pay me back on Thanksgiving. He was supposed to pay me back a week earlier but instead started ditching me. I went to his house 3 days before Thanksgiving and thats when I yelled at him thru the door. He choose to show up at my house on tirkeyday and basically throw the money at me and tell me he never wants to hear from me again. Like I said he knew 2 weeks ahead of time and if there was a problem he knew he could tell me and I would be cool with it. The problem is he chose instead to hide from me and the fact of the matter is I only sent him 2 e-mails and called 3 times. So its not like I harrassed him and he acts like this if I just call wanting to hang out. Since I dont own a 4-wheeler his new passion in life I guess there is no need for me to be around and thats how he always has been. If he doesnt need something from you your not welcome but this is the first time he has gone this far with me.

Posted

sorry to hear of your troubles,if it were me i would definately try and work things out,16 years is a long time to trash on something stupid.I would agree with the members your friend might have some kind of mental/emotional problems,if he is your friend and aware of his situation he should tell you as his best friend.personally if i lend money to a friend i would expect payment back unless otherwise specified and if it were me doing the borrowing i to would payback with interest,with all that said try and talk it over and salvage your friendship but i dont think it will be th same.good luck.

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