misterp Posted January 12, 2007 Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 Apologies if you've heard them already. Deepest apologies if you've ever used them. Redneck Pick-up lines: 1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz you sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea; I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out. 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em. 6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole. 7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away. 8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice." 9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock. 10) I can't find my puppy, can yo u help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room. 11) Yer eyes are as blue as winder cleaner. 12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon. 13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, Cuz every time I think of it my nuts tighten up. Mr. P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
06redSSrwd Posted January 12, 2007 Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 those are great , i'm going to tell the diarrhea one to my g/f ES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wody Posted January 12, 2007 Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 (edited) i like "here, let me clear you a place to sit.... " Edited January 12, 2007 by wody (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoolBlueSS Posted January 12, 2007 Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 I like #8. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brobradh77 Posted January 12, 2007 Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 I am gonna have to jot some of those down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen.One05 Posted January 12, 2007 Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 Number 7.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterp Posted January 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 Number 7.... That was my fav too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bart1377 Posted January 12, 2007 Report Share Posted January 12, 2007 Most of them were in my wedding vows and she still made me say 'I will'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
air force vm Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 too funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allballz57 Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 You forgot " ya wanna git a six pack and F*%K or dont ya drink" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montanass Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice." <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I've used one similar to this: Me- "Excuse me, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?" Girl- "No...." Me- "Well I guess it's enough to break the ice. I'm Cody." Girl- (nice use of smilies huh) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyrome Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 funny stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WI_Dave Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 (edited) How'd ya like to be the best 30 seconds of my life? and my favorite I f*@k like I work fast and half ass'd Edited January 13, 2007 by WI_Dave (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tawss04 Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Had to be Mr.P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixsupersport Posted January 14, 2007 Report Share Posted January 14, 2007 good stuff........."does it feel better when you imagine i'm yer sister" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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