06redSSrwd Posted July 24, 2007 Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 >1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby >in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the >lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed >that there were several cabs and I was in the wrong one. > >Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, >San Antonio , TX > > > >2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly >and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," >I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient. > >Submitted by Dr. Richard >Byrnes, Seattle , WA > > > >3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that >her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than >five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family >that he had died of a "massive internal fart." > >Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg , >Manitoba, Canada > > > >4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his >cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble >with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The >nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running >out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered >what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on >his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch >before applying a new one. > >Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, >Norfolk , VA > > > >5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How >long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she >answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was >alive." > >Submitted by >Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis , OR > > > >6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this >morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem >to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the >jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." > >Submitted by Dr. Leonard >Kransdorf, Detroit , MI > > > >7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with >purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of >tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly >determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was >scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed >onthe operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been >dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the >grass." > >Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the >patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn." > >Submitted by RN no name > > >AND > >FINALLY!!!.............. > > >8. A new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quite >embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my >embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. >The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly >burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my >work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She >replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I >was an Oscar Meyer Wiener". > >Dr. wouldn't submit his name > definitely my favorite....enjoy ES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WI_Dave Posted July 24, 2007 Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 I like the last 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Generalms02 Posted July 24, 2007 Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 I like the last 2 The last 2 were funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brobradh77 Posted July 24, 2007 Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Good ones..lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zanis520 Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 hahaha last one is definitely the best Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireRescueSS Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 I think I know one of those doc's.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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