Cop Magnet Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WI_Dave Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 I've read that one before but it is one of my favorites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen.One05 Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 :crackup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
06redSSrwd Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 that's awesome ES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SS Silv Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FireRescueSS Posted July 25, 2007 Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 I'm keeping that one, forwarding it, printing it out, placeing it on my wall, placing it on my desk, and taking a copy up to the fire house. And I WILL use that, granted, I will pay the price for it, but her facial expression will be rewarding enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireman31 Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zanis520 Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 I'm keeping that one, forwarding it, printing it out, placeing it on my wall, placing it on my desk, and taking a copy up to the fire house. And I WILL use that, granted, I will pay the price for it, but her facial expression will be rewarding enough. HAHAHAHA thats hilarious. i love the end "at least that bitch knows im smarter" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RidinRimss Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 who comes up with this stuff> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoolin Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 I'm gonna use that! No doubt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2006_superado Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 i've read that before as well... but still had to read it again!... there's something so satisfying about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perk03z06 Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr82sxs Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 haha, that's a truthful one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faceliftedss Posted July 26, 2007 Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 thats so freaking awesome i love that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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