Fallen.One05 Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 I believe i've seen this once before....... Something to tell the kids when they question the existence of Santa Claus: There are approximately two billion children in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, this comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second or 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them, Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles/second in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high-calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mungman Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 it doesn't matter to me if santa couldn't exist.....i will believe just about anything for free stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoolBlueSS Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 Thanks for spoiling my Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bowtie Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 Gezz that was silly CRAZY... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brobradh77 Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 whats next Justin? You going to tell me wrestling is fake to Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoolBlueSS Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 (edited) whats next Justin? You going to tell me wrestling is fake to It is!? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Edited August 29, 2007 by CoolBlueSS (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen.One05 Posted August 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 whats next Justin? You going to tell me wrestling is fake to It's not fake brad... They are just predetermind outcomes.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shakesvho Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 wrestling too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usabodyguard Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 im going to print this out and make flyers and go out to all of the malls this christmas and hand them out the to kids waiting to sit on santas lap... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wody Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 he has elfs too you know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlkSSnCpt Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 im going to print this out and make flyers and go out to all of the malls this christmas and hand them out the to kids waiting to sit on santas lap... Its been said by others before on the site and ill say it again: Big Dave = Pure Evil ... these guys suck u would think that atleast christmas they would leave alone... -Rob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoolBlueSS Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 I can't believe in anything anymore. So sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punkt71 Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 hahahahha MAN that is some funny crap right there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brobradh77 Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 I can't believe in anything anymore. So sad. I KNOW ...I probably wont even put a tree up this year now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desrtrat Posted August 29, 2007 Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 im going to print this out and make flyers and go out to all of the malls this christmas and hand them out the to kids waiting to sit on santas lap... this is just as bad..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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