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Posted

- Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open

 

-If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you

 

- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Posted

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later.

 

 

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Posted

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

 

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Posted

-When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet; The water gets Chuck Norris'd.

 

-Chuck Norris doesn't write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

 

-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

 

-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Posted

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks, and martial arts ability. Then he gave the devil a roundhouse kick to the face, and took his soul back. When the devil woke up he laughed, and said I should have seen it coming.

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