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victorredss

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Posts posted by victorredss

  8. Jotd

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    A guy walks into his doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III'm tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme???"

     

    The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you first before I can answer you."

     

    The doc examines him and says, "Well, I'm pretty sure that I know what the problem is."

     

    The guy asks, "wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"

     

    The doc says,"It's your penis. It's about about 18 inches long and all of the down pressure is putting a strain on your vocal chords."

     

    The guy asks, "Wwwhat ccan wwe ddo about it?"

     

    The doc replies, "Well, I can cut it off and transplant a shorter one. I can guarantee that the operation will cure your stuttering."

     

    The guy says, "Dddo it!"

     

    The guy has the operation and about four weeks later he comes back to the doctor's office and says, "Thanks Doc. You've solved my problem and I don't stutter any more but I've only had sex once in the past month. My wife doesn't enjoy it any more. I cannot satisfy her. She liked my long penis. I don't care if I have to stutter, I want you to put my long one back one!"

     

    The doc replies, "Nnnnope. A ddddeal's a ddddeal!"

  11. Jotd

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    A young sailor was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he looks over and sees a pirate. The pirate has a wooden peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and patch over his eye. Unable to resist, the sailor asks “How’d you end up with a peg-leg?”

     

    “I was swept overboard during a fierce storm,” says the pirate. “and a bloody shark bit off me whole darn leg!”

     

    “Holy cow!” said the sailor. “What about the hook, how’d you get that?”

     

    “Me crew and I were boarding an enemy ship, a fierce sword battle ensued. One of them cut me darn arm!”

     

    “Absolutely incredible!” gasped the sailor. “And the eye patch, tell me how you got that?”

     

    “A bloody seagull dropping fell into me eye,” replied the pirate.

     

    “Umm, you lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” asked the sailor, admonished.

     

    Embarassed, the pirate answered “It was me first day with the hook.”

  14. Jotd

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi . . You know, I just HATE drawing welfare I'd really rather have a job."

     

    The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur / bodyguard for his 18-year-old nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have an adjoining room. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."

     

    The guy says, "You're bullshitting me!" The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."

  15. No Sound Coming Out!

    in Radio/Electronics/Security

    Posted

    i have the same issue. only thing i found was a loose connection at the grond located under the carpet on the passengers side of the front floor near the center console. i went the extra step and sanded the paint off the floor where the ground goes.... seems to have solved my issue

     

    Thanks! I'll try that....

  17. No Sound Coming Out!

    in Radio/Electronics/Security

    Posted

    Well I searched and didnt find anything on this....

     

    About last week my speakers made like a poping noise when I turned my truck on, and my front speakers decided to stop working. That same day it made the poping noise again and then the speakers started working like normal. Yesterday, same poping noise except all speakers stopped working and wont come back on, but it keeps making the poping noise (sometimes) when I start my truck....

     

    Any ideas on what it is?

     

    Thanks,

    -Vic

  24. I Got A Job

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    tryer process equipment...they are moving shop here from midland..hey Victor you may have heard of them?..a little different name there though.

     

    Thanks guys

     

    Was it called Dickson and Tryer? If it was that place is right down the road from where I work....

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