desertss
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Posts posted by desertss
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go out and get 4 new girlfriends
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my favorite is Killer Klowns from outer space!
its scary how bad this movie really is.
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i listen to kbul K-bull from reno.
i guess i am the only one who cranks up the country tunes in thier sss
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i heard it this way:
a teacher was to teach her students how to identify different types of meat
she cooked some beef, pork and venison
first she passed out the beef to all the students then asked the class if anyone knew what kind of meat it was. a little girl in the front row stood up and said "that is beef"
teacher said very good
next she passed out the pork and asked the class again.
a little boy in the third row stood up and said "thats pork"
teacher said very good
next she passed out the venison and asked again.
the entire class sat silent and no one guessed at it.
the teacher said "now class this is something you hear you mother call your dad all the time'
little johnny from the back row jumped up and yelled "spit it out! its assholes!!!!"
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The Government has been "polling" me for years.........and my ass is getting tired of it
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happy birthday to all
i wish i could rember 32! the big 50 is creeping up on me really fast
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i think i would be available that weekend. may need a sofa to crash on
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While walking down the street one day a US senator is
tragically hit by a
truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by
St. Peter at the
entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter 'Before you
settle in, it seems there is
a problem. We seldom see a high official around these
parts, you see, so
we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem, just let me in,' says the senator.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher
up. What we'll do is have
you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can
choose where to
spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in
heaven,' says the senator. *
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.' And with
that, St. Peter escorts him to
the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The
doors open and he
finds himself in the middle of a green golf Course . In the
distance is a
clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends
and other
politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to
greet him, shake
his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at
the Expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster,
caviar and
champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly
guy who has a good
time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good
time that before
he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the
elevator rises ...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven
where St. Peter
is waiting for him.
'Now it's time to visit heaven.'
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of
contented souls moving
from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They
have a good time
and, Before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and
St. Peter returns.
'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another
in heaven. Now choose
your eternity.'
The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: 'Well,
I would never have
said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I
think I would be
better off in hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,
down, down to
hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the
middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the
trash and putting
it in black bags as more trash falls from above...
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his
shoulder. 'I don't
understand,' stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was
here and there was a
golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar,
drank champagne,
and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a
wasteland full of
garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?'
The devil looks at him, smiles and says.......
"Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you
voted."*
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appy: sliced french bread dredged in evoo and red wine vinegar, toasted with a slice of smoked buffalo and pepper jack cheese
main: very thick 1 1/2 inch min ribeye steak from my grille
baked sweet potato with butter and cinnamon
salad
dessert: banana lasagna
drink sierra nevada pale ale while cooking
ice tea with my meal
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he will get life without parole. the judge that presided over the trail is a tough cookie. she never gives out less than the maximum sentence. i hope they send him to the nevada state prison in carson city. its the toughest prison in our state as well as the oldest. 13 yrs ago he may have gotten a light sentence and a country club prison but i dont think that will happen to him this time.
hope he rots in jail
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i am a heating and air conditioning service manager/tech for a small company.
i went to san joaquin community college in stockton calif have an AA degree in construction technology.
pay is just under 40 per hr (non union)
i have been in this field for 27 yrs now.
being in the service end of the business is great for steady work vs being in the construction end where the building market determines how much you work. same with the electrical and plumbing fields.
as a side job i sell laundry detergent in nudist colonies
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10k is a lot
i prefer this cobalt from lowes, it has a beer fridge and a stereo built in and its less than 1700
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a cornucopia of free internet corn
cornography maybe
is this how you make creamed corn?
orville redenbacher never made corn so hot
rachel ray is the hottest woman on food network
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21/3/0 but i would rather have her than all the camels in iraq
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have her sign a prenup so u dont lose all your stuff.
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looks like a personal pic to me. is that in your house? hahaha its ok im cheap too haha
no i dont have fancy wall paper like that
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regular motor oil has friction modifiers that motorcycle oil does not have. the friction modifiers will cause the wet clutch to slip. also synthetics not designed specific for wet clutchs will do even worse. i ordered new clutch parts (friction discs and new springs) yesterday. hope to have it ready to ride this weekend for street vibrations in reno.
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1985 vf500 interceptor
was in back of garage where i just moved, my landlady sold it to me for $500. it has 2000 miles, had a bra on the tank, paint is perfect. has been sitting for a while. fresh gas, charged the battery. gonna need a clutch. think someone put car oil in it.
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You should add some cameras to your garage and house. I have cameras on my house, a deadbolt and metal chain around my garage door track so the door cant move. Ya I am crazy I guess...
guess i live in a good part of the desert, i leave my truck unlocked parked in the 'driveway' sometimes even with the keys in it. i cant remember the last time i even locked my house. i honestly dont even know where the keys to the front door are
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guess thats why they are doing it at the moonlight bunny ranch, prostitution is legal in brothels in nevada
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hah they are going to do it at the moonlight bunny ranch just right down the road from me. maybe i will bid 5 bucks on it. wonder if she would take a check?
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Q: Ive heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and thats it . dont waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; thats like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cant think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain . . . Good!
Q: Arent fried foods bad for you?
A: YOURE NOT LISTENING!!! . . Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, theyre permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! Its the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! Round is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Ideas For Wife Gift
in Off-Topic/General
Posted
a gift certificate that you make yourself
good for 3 free foot massages
good for a weekend getaway to her choice of destinations
good for a ????
just use your imagination