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A Little Joke


WidowKiss

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"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart."

 

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

 

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

 

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

 

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried

on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

 

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

 

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

 

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

 

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

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I'm doing alright...talked to the dealership and they are estimating end of next week to being done or close to it.

 

I'm gonna slide by on wednesday to take a look at the naked front end. My Dad went by today and took a look at it. I just wish I had the money to by some addons cause right now would be the time since it's stripped.

 

Oh well guess this just means I'm gonna have to bust my ass to bonus every month this summer so I can do the drop as well as lasik eye surgery (it all depends on if the truck gets repaired right...if it's not I'm having dealer eat it and making a trade for Trailblazer SS).

 

Although now that it's been in a wreck it's resale just went to even more shit status (I'd be lucky to get 20k for it I bet ['04 with 27k mi]) so I'm probably just gonna have to deal with it till it pukes.

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