SSThunder Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 If it was employee to employee, I doubt it was recorded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtySSouth Posted February 28, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 Just a few questions: Have you had any other conversations with this lady prior to your application? Is she your age or an older person? I am guessing she's about your age, maybe a little older. The reason I ask isbecause,if you've had other conversations with her, and they were only professional in nature, she is out of line with her comments. However, if you've had conversations that were beyond the scope of business,she may have made a sarcastic comment that all of us are guilty of to another co-worker. She made a poor judgement call and said something that offended you. I doubt she was really trying to offend you, probably just a sarcastic comment to a co-worker. Let's face it, not everybody understands spending 5K on upgrades to a new vehicle. Her reaction I would consider normal for most people. Notice nobody here had the same reaction she did. We understand, she doesn't. A lot of people 5K is a car, not accessories for that car. Now,as far as pursuing the matter with HR or management, you'll need to make a decision as to how this will affect you in the future. Will she be a person you have to contact when a customer applies for a loan? Will she become vindictive and make it harder for you to do your job? It might be better to let it go. Just my $ .02 <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Ok...here is the deal....to answer your questions, no I have NEVER spoken to her, and no she is much, much older then I am....I believe she is in her 40's...i am inmy 20s...I do not work with her, and I have never met her....MY QUESTION is, she responded to my email with the response, "I do not use PROFANITY like that, I will be forwording your email to MY SUPERVISOR..." Mister P.....do I need to tell MY supervisor what is going on? I dont know what to do, she completely denied the comment, why would I make something like that up ? Stupid stupid.....let me know what yall think JK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtySSouth Posted February 28, 2006 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 This is probably going to be bad on my part.....but ive never let someone speak to me liek that, and I have never let someone make me feel like an IDIOT without at least letting that person know it was inn-appropriete.....I am in my 3rd month here at the Credit Union.....I dont see this going my way, I should have kept my mouth shut I guess, but I was never out of line....and If i had to do it over again, I would still have said something.... Jonathon K. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haynss Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 go kick her husband's ass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jchitwo Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 I would make sure you save your e-mails and document everything thoroughly... foward on to your supervisor your e-mail and her reply, contact your HR representative and file a complaint. This way your bases are covered, and she gets stuck lookin like she's just tryin to cover her ass... Its better to counter what she's doing then to let her get away with pushing it all on you. that's just my $0.02. good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montanass Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 sounds like you handled it well.... some people have no respect for us "kids"... when we have alot of respect for the "old people"....then we flip and kick em in the nuts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterp Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 Mister P.....do I need to tell MY supervisor what is going on? I dont know what to do, she completely denied the comment, why would I make something like that up ? Stupid stupid.....let me know what yall think JK Yeah, you've done it and pissed me off now... I'm going to preface this, this is JUST my opinion, but you asked for it I still strongly recommend that you DO NOT involve your supervisor; I've naively done that before in a past job and regretted it. Your boss was not there, they had nothing to do with the deal, so leave them out of it; the company pays others to deal with these problems, not your boss so do the responsible thing and work through established channels. You do not want to spook your boss and in turn alienate yourself. You know you are doing well in a corporate job when you have others above you grooming you up the ladder; when that stops happening, you're dead. So make sure that you don't do anything to jeopardize that 'mentoring' so to say. She's also got you mistaken in the 'roles' here - this is not an 'employee to employee' situation, this is a 'customer/applicant to company represenative' situation; the fact that the two of you just happen to work in the same building is totally irrelevant. You were acting in your own interests as a potential customer; she was filling the capacity of a represenative of the company, doing an offensive job as such. I would do what any customer would and lodge a complaint, to be dissed like that is total Now I am going to share a little bit of myself here, a prejudice I have: in today's corporate America I have observed that any woman with significant managerial success is AGGRESSIVE in their career interactions; they have to be to have gotten where they now are. Same with short men (Donald Trump), obese men, folks of color, bald men, young managers, in fact any person that has a physical quality perceived as a handicap of charisma will have overcompensated for it. Trust me, my sister manages a dozen Citi Financial branches in northern CA, and she has been ranked one of the top 3 in the organization - you DO NOT want her little black Benz pulling up in your driveway if she thinks you've been slacking. I know it's stereotypical, no not everyone is like this BUT 99.9% are; it's a fact of corporate life - be very observant of aggressive female mid-managers, they got to their positions despite some serious career handicaps; think about it. That being said.... Understand what is REALLY going on here - you have just had a brush with a true bitch, meaning a shallow-minded woman that lives her career life by a dog-pack mentality. Have you seen the lead female dog in a wolf pack charge or bite or scare the other pack members (yes males, too) into a pecking order? This woman just bared her teeth at you, in a career kind of way. She didn't have to treat you like she did, in fact she has actually been instructed not to - so she did it for a reason albeit subconcious. She put you in a very awkward position; the only thing left for you to do here is turn the argument into a career shootout (you won't win), cower to her (she wishes), or crawl away and sulk (in her dreams). I would not do any of those, I would just go to HR and file your complaint - it's like a flirting claim, by itself it does not mean much but she will not get off scott-free for treating you however she god damned well pleases and looking down on you like shit. Now what I would do - I would 'coincidentally' just happen to bump into her while in the copy machine room (etc), close and lock the door behind me and announce very strongly "I'm glad I found you here - we're going to have a closed meeting, right now" and tell her that if she ever ****s up and tries to publicly embarrass me with a display like that again in the future it will be her ass. Come to think of it, some of the most productive meetings I've ever had were in the men's room... Mr. P. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haynss Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 and then if she sends you an email deny it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterp Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 Exactly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoolBlueSS Posted March 1, 2006 Report Share Posted March 1, 2006 I've had a couple of those one on one "closed door meetings". The ones that start out with, "Alright mother f&*$er, we're gonna get this sh1t straight right now". They can be pretty productive sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DirtySSouth Posted March 2, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2006 Ok....Well what I thought was going to happened, happened.....She emailed her supervisory, he called MY supervisor....My two supervisors call-ed me into the back room for a meeting....They claimed that I should have not emailed her, and I should have first came to my direct supervisor...I disagreed, and told them it did not involve them and it was as situation between me and her, and I told them that all Iwanted was an apology in which I did not recieve...and I also included that, because I did not get the apology I will be filing a complaint with HR.....and they said that I need not do that, and they said they are going to let the sitation "blow over".....bs, whatever, im gonna quit this place...... JK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hot rod truck Posted March 2, 2006 Report Share Posted March 2, 2006 Ok....Well what I thought was going to happened, happened.....She emailed her supervisory, he called MY supervisor....My two supervisors call-ed me into the back room for a meeting....They claimed that I should have not emailed her, and I should have first came to my direct supervisor...I disagreed, and told them it did not involve them and it was as situation between me and her, and I told them that all Iwanted was an apology in which I did not recieve...and I also included that, because I did not get the apology I will be filing a complaint with HR.....and they said that I need not do that, and they said they are going to let the sitation "blow over".....bs, whatever, im gonna quit this place......JK <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Sorry to hear that. Hopefully it will work out better for you elsewhere. Since you've made your decision, do file your complaint with HR. The 2 supervisors sound like they need a wake-up call Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpearlss Posted March 2, 2006 Report Share Posted March 2, 2006 Stay strong and good luck, you are not out of line for wanting the loan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterp Posted March 2, 2006 Report Share Posted March 2, 2006 Ok....Well what I thought was going to happened, happened.....She emailed her supervisory, he called MY supervisor....My two supervisors call-ed me into the back room for a meeting....They claimed that I should have not emailed her, and I should have first came to my direct supervisor...I disagreed, and told them it did not involve them and it was as situation between me and her, and I told them that all Iwanted was an apology in which I did not recieve...and I also included that, because I did not get the apology I will be filing a complaint with HR.....and they said that I need not do that, and they said they are going to let the sitation "blow over".....bs, whatever, im gonna quit this place......JK IMAGINE THAT. You are dealing with a true dyed-in-the-wool bitch here, she's determined to go toe-to-toe with you and even push a bad position to do so. You did real good, next time *never* do anything like the email again, I did not realize you had - be very careful what you put in writing. But the situation is actually not all that bad, you emailed her for an apology, which is totally socially acceptable, and instead of her getting along she bows-up and calls a meeting - you've exposed her as the troublemaker she is albeit in a backhanded way - YOU DID NOTHING WRONG nor nothing to be ashamed of, remember that. Hint for next time, in addition to telling your supervisors why you did not involve them ALSO right-off-the-bat apologize sincerely for her behavior - make it clear that the "last thing" you wanted to have happen was to have your management wasting their time because SHE dragged THEM into all this, that way you are again shifting the focus back on HER behavior; you appear self-respecting, self-reliant, and above-board, she appears backhanded and political. And if you get another visit about all this I would do that first thing (apologize), make your self the good guy by "understanding" the bad position she has managed to put everyone in. I would still go through HR, not "file a complaint" but instead to "document what happened"; if you are going to ever do this now is the time while the iron is hot, not a week from now when it's "blown over". Else let it all go, but know she will not quit. So, what kind car does she drive? Maybe she needs her wheel weights removed Mr. P. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jchitwo Posted March 2, 2006 Report Share Posted March 2, 2006 Ok....Well what I thought was going to happened, happened.....She emailed her supervisory, he called MY supervisor....My two supervisors call-ed me into the back room for a meeting....They claimed that I should have not emailed her, and I should have first came to my direct supervisor...I disagreed, and told them it did not involve them and it was as situation between me and her, and I told them that all Iwanted was an apology in which I did not recieve...and I also included that, because I did not get the apology I will be filing a complaint with HR.....and they said that I need not do that, and they said they are going to let the sitation "blow over".....bs, whatever, im gonna quit this place......JK IMAGINE THAT. You are dealing with a true dyed-in-the-wool bitch here, she's determined to go toe-to-toe with you and even push a bad position to do so. You did real good, next time *never* do anything like the email again, I did not realize you had - be very careful what you put in writing. But the situation is actually not all that bad, you emailed her for an apology, which is totally socially acceptable, and instead of her getting along she bows-up and calls a meeting - you've exposed her as the troublemaker she is albeit in a backhanded way - YOU DID NOTHING WRONG nor nothing to be ashamed of, remember that. Hint for next time, in addition to telling your supervisors why you did not involve them ALSO right-off-the-bat apologize sincerely for her behavior - make it clear that the "last thing" you wanted to have happen was to have your management wasting their time because SHE dragged THEM into all this, that way you are again shifting the focus back on HER behavior; you appear self-respecting, self-reliant, and above-board, she appears backhanded and political. And if you get another visit about all this I would do that first thing (apologize), make your self the good guy by "understanding" the bad position she has managed to put everyone in. I would still go through HR, not "file a complaint" but instead to "document what happened"; if you are going to ever do this now is the time while the iron is hot, not a week from now when it's "blown over". Else let it all go, but know she will not quit. So, what kind car does she drive? Maybe she needs her wheel weights removed Mr. P. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Very Well put Mr P. That is the best way.... I wish they made a book like How to win friends and influence people, that is geared toward things like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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