montanass Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 (edited) Ok, so my family found out this summer that my dad was going to need a couple of surgeries. One on his heart, because his aortic valve is leaky and he has an anurism (sp) about 15mm. The other is his neck, he has a hereditary condition where the area around his nerves off of his spinal column is depleting in size and could eventually, if not corrected, kill him due to the shrinking in the area around the nerves on his verebre. The doctors wanted to do his heart surgury first and after he recuperated proceed with the neck operation. But it turns out when they perform open heart surgury, they have to open his ribs up and it puts alot of stress on his spine, which with his complications could acually sever the restricted nerves and kill him. So about a month ago they decided to do the neck first and scheduled him for last friday, but some stuff came up and they had to bump the surgury to this friday (10-13-06). Since i knew that he had his operation this week, i've been spending a little more time at home with my mom and dad, just in case the worst were to happen. I was fine and dandy until this morning when he was getting checked in for the proceedure I lost it... I had a bunch of "what if's" floating through my head like "What if this is the last time I get to see my dad alive" and all that jazz. I'm 19 years old and there's alot to be learned and said between my dad and I, that i would miss out on. And for the first time in my life i realized that my dad ~is~ human and that he can die. I've always looked up to my dad with the idea that i want to be just like him when i get to a certain point in my life. Well my dad went into surgury at about 10:45 this morning until about 5:50 this evening. Everything went well and he should pull out of it ok, if everything continues to go well. I spent most of the morning with him and my mother, until about 10:00 and then i went to work to try and fill my dad's shoes for a while to get my mind off of things and get a more positive attitude. After i left the hospital i was fine, I got into the grove at work and kept busy until about 4:30 and then i went back to the medical center to see how things were going. Well as i stated he got out at 5:50 ish but we couldnt see him until around 6:30, so they wheeled him into the room and for the first time i saw something in my dad i thought i would never see, he was weak, vonerable, and totally helpless... I teared up a bit but maintained my cool for the sake of my mom, sister and my aunts. I was kind of the "training wheels" that kept things rolling for them today, which was different because my dad was always that person for them and me... I dont know why i felt the need to share this with you guys, but I guess its cause everyone on here has been like a krutch when i'm down and are easy to talk to and its nice to let some stuff out every now and then. I just needed to vent. This experience has been a real eye opener to me, and hopefully i will be a little stonger when it comes time for the heart surgury... Thanks for reading, -Cody -Edit- sorry if some of this doesnt make sense, its been a long day and i'm physically and emotionally exhausted.... Edited October 14, 2006 by montanass (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixsupersport Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 sorry to hear that, keep good spirits and my prayers are with you and you family. nixsupersport Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popeye55 Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 best of luck and wishs Cody...we'll be thinking of your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ItsJac Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 keep your head up, Everything will be fine. Your family got my prayer... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drako Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 Hey Cody, sorry i didnt see this last night. Out of all of this I think you did the best thing that you couldve done. Ive been in a similiar situation and it was a heavy burden. You stayed strong and it showed was reflected through you onto your mother. It's great to know that your dad is doing well. I also have always thought that my father was invincible (havnt we all?). This is only a short bump in the road, he will recover soon, and this is a growing experience for you. It's a wierd feeling the day you realize you are an "adult". One day it just hits you, its goo that here you now then laterStay strong and we will be here for you when you just want to vent, or share anything you need to share. We are al here for you. Jose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montanass Posted October 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 thanks guys..... I appreciate it... Its just good to talk about how you feel, you know... I couldnt sleep last night cause i was thinkin about everything, so i decided to share with you guys and then i fell right asleep. Again thanks for your thoughts and prayers... I'm sure my dad will pull through. hey Jose, thanks for bein a good buddy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
04CHASE Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 \ just enjoy every moment you can with him you never know when they will be gone, i lost my pops when i was 12 and never really got to bond with him. he was a big chevy guy too and i think thats what i have become( he was only 42 , he had a heart attack in the middle of the night , no signs at all). Just recently my girlfriends dad passed in the same exact way, got a call @ 3, am to get to her house quick and by the time we got there he was gone, he was only 50 and like a 2nd dad to me, he helped me do alot of stuff to my truck and taught me a bit about cars in general. It really sucks to lose someone close to you and it has happened to me alot. Now all i can do is wish i would have spent more time with them. So take that for what its worth, enjoy what you have while you have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SS Silv Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 Take care man. I know all about lifes ups and downs. I hope everything turns out well for your dad, which I am sure things will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drako Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 No problem Cody, and Chase ive lost a lot of people close to me although i havnt lost my dad, ive lost those who have been there when you need them. Its a life lesson to keep on movin and keep living life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brobradh77 Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 Cody, I will keep you and your dad in my prayers and hope for a speedy recovery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barney Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 Cody, Well a few years back My father went in for the Heart Surgery too. I know how you feel the guy that was the stongest, bravest, most involurnable guy you know in such a dangerous dare I say helpless condition after the surgery. But you then realize how well modern medicine has come and how strong the Parents can really be. I do know how you feel! If I can help out with any advice please let me know. Best wishes to a speedy recovery to your Dad! Barney Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dannyc_2006_SS Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 Cody, I hope his surgery went well and that he has a speedy recovery. We all need to vent every now and then and we are all here to support you and your family. Keep us posted on his recovery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gixxerrider Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 best wishes and a speedy recovery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterp Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 (edited) First of all, don't knock yourself for your age - you're a lot closer to right than most people I've known, or what you give yourself credit for. It's good to hear your father came through surgery, sounds like the biggest hurdle has been passed. I like threads like this - it is great to see families that truly relate to each other. What you have expressed has been a lot on my mind this week, a lot. That being you can't take *anyone* for granted. It's great to hear you and your father have a good relationship, because reality is that any one of us could be gone tomorrow; life is just not predictable, and you'll only make yourself literally insane attempting to control things like that. But we can control ourselves, and in my own life I believe in preparedness. I know that at any moment I may never see my kids again, or I can end up having my own ticket prematurely punched, all it takes is just one mistake or coincidence. So as morbid as this may seem I try to be prepared for 'the end' at any moment by making sure that I have no "unfinished business" in any area of my life. But especially with my sister and kids, which at the moment are the only loved ones I have. "No Regrets". Forgive the rambling - I'm trying to improve that! Mr. P. Edited October 14, 2006 by misterp (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black2003SS Posted October 14, 2006 Report Share Posted October 14, 2006 (edited) Cody, Hopefully everything works out for your dad. The good news is medical technology is far more advanced than even ten years ago and continues to advance more and more. The feelings and emotions are not surprising as I can certainly relate to your situation. I was about your age when I almost lost my father who I was also very close to being an only child. A few years ago, we were out deer hunting when my dads tree stand chain failed and he fell 30 ft out of a tree (he had just climbed up and was in the process of putting his safety harness around himself when it happened.). We were over half a mile from the nearest dirt road and maybe 3-4 miles from a paved road. He was pretty bad. He fractured his tib/fib (lower leg bones) into about 7 pieces and severed one of the main arteries in the calf. He was bleeding to death right there, going into shock and losing conciousness. Most people would say big deal, broken leg. so what? Well, We already have had one family member die from a broken leg when bone marrow entered the blood stream. Cell phones? 1/2 mile away in truck. The funny thing is that I was 4 years into training with the national ski patrol (extensive medical first aide training) and that allowed me to keep my head when it counted(which are you doing). The only option I had was to go for help after applying a tourniquet. That had to be the fastest half mile run I ever made to get the cell phone. Fortunately, we were able to get a helicopter in and get him out with about 20 minutes. My only regret/mistake I think I made was not having my extensive first aid kit in the truck. I never leave home without it ever since. When we got my father to the hospital (I followed a trooper to the hospital about 50 miles away), he had already had a mild heart attack from the stress and shock. The doctor at that little hospital said he was going to lose the leg because of sever tissue and nerve damage. But my mother insisted we get him to a major hospital in the Detroit area, so once he was stable, he was approved to transported to St Joseph in Pontiac, which had more advanced care. The doctors there spent hours re-constructing my fathers leg and 10 months later, he was finally able to walk with a severe limp and cane. The doctors saved his life and his leg. The whole reason for me sharing this with you is that it wasnt until I got in my truck and headed to Pontiac where he was being transferred that I lost it. Alone on a freeway, all the time to think about "what if's". What ifs that could have happened, could happen. Just how close I came to losing my dad. What life would be like if he loses his leg. How to cope with that. The bottom line is I think your maturity shows well and you are doing the best you can with what you have to work with. I've had my dad for years since that incident and I hope you get to enjoy the same with your father. Edited October 14, 2006 by Black2003SS (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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