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Wal-Mart


Stitches040

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TRIP TO WAL-MART

 

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the

lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You

are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work

clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch, old

t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

 

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you

need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.

 

Depending on your age you might do the following:

 

In your 20's:

 

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush

your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror

and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you

just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You

went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

 

In your 30's:

 

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You

married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb

your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your

favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is

the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

 

In your 40's:

 

Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the

hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash

your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want

to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and

do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the

register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

 

In your 50's:

 

Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto

your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new

sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that

shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the

register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.

Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it

says, "I Got Worms ".

 

In your 60's:

 

Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the dog crap

off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You

hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.

The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses

on so you are not sure.

 

In your 70's:

 

Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your

prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The

young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her

grandfather.

 

In your 80's:

 

Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember

that you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying

to think what it is you are looking for. You fart out loud and think

someone called out your name. The old lady that greeted you at the front

door went to school with you.

 

 

:thumbs: ... :thumbs: ... :thumbs: ... :thumbs:

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