hot rod truck Posted October 19, 2007 Report Share Posted October 19, 2007 (edited) 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay. 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag. 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too. 6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious. 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you' re dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer. 8 . If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker [/color] Edited October 19, 2007 by hot rod truck (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxySS Posted October 19, 2007 Report Share Posted October 19, 2007 A few people come to mind when I read that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr82sxs Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 haha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyrome Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 that was some funny stuff right there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Bowtie Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 HAHAHAHA!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoolBlueSS Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 #6 is funny. Funny because it's true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SS_bnoon_SS Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 If you had to open this thread to read the possibilities to find out if you were gay, THEN YOU'RE GAY! There should be no question in your mind. If there's doubt, then there's the closet door, come on out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KJT13 Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 A cat is like a dog,but gay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gs430 Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 You know how I know your gay? 'cause you like the movie "maid in manhattan" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zanis520 Posted October 20, 2007 Report Share Posted October 20, 2007 A few people come to mind when I read that. yea me too, i instantly thought of usabodyguard and spoolin. but they're pretty open about it, so it doesnt really count huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireman31 Posted October 21, 2007 Report Share Posted October 21, 2007 (edited) Don't forget Fords are gay too.......... Edited October 21, 2007 by Fireman31 (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dl11sec70dodge Posted October 21, 2007 Report Share Posted October 21, 2007 Don't forget Fords are gay too.......... and the tundra... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gregor45 Posted October 21, 2007 Report Share Posted October 21, 2007 Man that was freakin awesome!!! :rollin: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faceliftedss Posted October 21, 2007 Report Share Posted October 21, 2007 my neighbor used to have a cat... i renamed it from snookums to speedbump i hope it helps the poor guy out. nice blue oval by the way that is the one that should come from the factory Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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