hot rod truck Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 (edited) To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah) I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I handed over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well. So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace! Snopes hasn't verified whether this is true or not, but still funny ...After further review, others have responded to the OP in the Savannah Craigslist, although I didn't see the original post. Edited January 24, 2009 by hot rod truck (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike1booth Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 that might be the greatest craigslist ad EVER! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rojo_143 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 That is hilarious, the amount of sarcasim (sp?) is funny by itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilmarv1117 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 hahah thats great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Roknic Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 That's great....teach that scumbag a lesson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fireman31 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANGRYGREG Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8hnpSS Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Hahahaha thats great Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hankg42 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Great find, Brian. I actually hope it IS true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubdaddy420 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 That is awesome, if it is true it makes it ten times better though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hot rod truck Posted January 24, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Great find, Brian. I actually hope it IS true! Just doing my part to bring a little joy and happiness to an otherwise drab world Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris B Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 That's AWESOME Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbarnes Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 heres a funny one. really happened. i saw my brother do this with my own eyes. so heres the story... im sitting outside my brothers work to pick him up. i see him walking down from the corner store after grabbing a drink and a riced out civic pulls up to him. i see them talking and then BAM my brother(6ft4 350lbs) snatches the guy right out of the drivers door window and gorilla slams him on the street. then i see my brother w/ a pistol in his hand. he pops out the clip and Nolan Ryans the empty pistol at the guys head. by this time my poor jeeps motor is screemin tryin to get to him. i pull up w/ my glock in hand like WTF! he says this punk just tried to rob me w/ no ammo. all of this in broad daylight. so anyway my brother gives him a little taste of his steel toes, grabs the guys keys out of the ignition and throws em in the sewer. i know i know he could have been killed but youd have to meet my brother to understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brobradh77 Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 lol..good stories Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WODY'S GIRL Posted January 24, 2009 Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 LOL,....good find! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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