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Decided To Run For Office


ShortBus

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2012 Candidate for President!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.

HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

 

(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is

the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

 

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist

posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no

exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you

don't need it.'

 

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax

on it..

 

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man

one of our many observation towers on the southern border (six month

tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND

aliens.

 

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original

state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't getting nuttin out. The

president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

 

 

(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end

of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis

and a passing grade.

 

(7) Professional Athletes--Steroids.. The FIRST time you

check positive you're banned for life.

 

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time

you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If

convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you

chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

 

(9) One export will be allowed, Wheat. The world needs to

eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

 

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will

immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt

and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll

ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and

each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

 

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at

school and every day in Congress.

 

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate

ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

 

 

 

The country was founded on certain principals – let’s get

back to them! GOD BLESS AMERICA .

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