misterp Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 (edited) Well last night was another first for me. So this week I'm in Las Vegas taking Microsoft certification exams, there's 5 of us taking the tests plus a mentor and it's been a gruelling m'r f'r for all of us. The 6 of us have been cramming 7:30am to midnight these last five days now literally non-stop, none of us have left the hotel since last Saturday. My 5 'studymates' are pretty dry, but the mentor is an awesome guy, his name is Tom and he's a successful executive that has come out of retirement because he lost his nestegg in last year's stock crash; his heavy accent is a dead giveaway that he's originally from Long Island NY. As the 6 of us have gotten to know each other we've BS'd about computers and flying jet planes and building past multi-million dollar empires - Tom is the larger than life kinda guy that deserves one of those "Old Guys Rule" t-shirts LOL. Anyways about 10pm Tom announces he's going to Walmart to buy a wireless router and offers to pick up anything for us while he is there, I say "Wait - you got a car here?! I'll come with you, I forgot razor blades..." which is a lame excuse to get the fawk out of this moldy casino, but it was the best I could come up with in the moment. So we're walking the Flamingo parking lot and arrive at an OLD Toyota Prius with South Carolina plates ROFL!!! This Prius is so old it doesn't even look like a 'Prius', it looks like a mid-90s Corolla. "Oh. My. God. Tom - you drove this from South Carolina?!" I chuckled - inside I was totally LMAO but held a polite face as Tom raved about getting 45mpg and showed me his car toys, a Valentine-1 and stalk-mount 6" Pioneer GPS and XM and a few other 'dashboard ornaments' I didn't recognize; there were enough cords draped over the dash it looked like a man trap, here's a guy that lives at Best Buy LOL. I quickly just accepted the fact that tonight we'd be rollin' the Vegas Strip in a pokey, geeked-out, overgrown electric econobox golf cart with manual windows hahaha. But hey, I reminded myself, it could be worse, I could still be stuck inside the casino.. right?! Tom turns the ignition key (the Prius makes no noise!), jams the 'shifter' into reverse and authoritatively stabs the throttle - the little car gets positively ANGRY and crisply barks the tires as it launches backwards out of the parking space He slams the shifter into Drive and WE'RE OFF immediately HAULING MAJOR ASS in this poor Prius, I mean for real all-balls-or-no-balls-at-all by the time we've left the Flamingo he's slalomed 2-levels of the parking garage at 25-30 mph, cut off 2 limos in the traffic circle by the front door, flipped a bitch at about 15mph, and blasted over half a dozen speedbumps without even thinking of lifting the accelerator or interrupting our chit-chat! As Tom is making his first turn onto the city side street, he shares with me that he put himself through college driving a cab in Manhattan for 6 years, and following that he was a paramedic/ambulance driver for almost another 5-years in both Bronx and Queens! Tom is an absolute animal at the wheel, driving like a man posessed while leering at sexy short skirts and talking with me all at the same time. On the way back in from Walmart we hit very heavy traffic approaching The Strip, there are people and cars everywhere and even worse road construction to boot - Tom is weaving the little Prius through traffic like a surgeon, jumping lanes and cutting off cars, pushing through jaywalking drunk people crossing the street, curbing the sidewalk, and darting through back alleys trying to pilot us back to the hotel. We finally make our way to The Strip, we're on a side-street facing the Bellagio pool and there are HUNDREDS of people EVERYWHERE cris-crossing in front of us; Tom is inching the car through the moving people crossing the sidewalk when suddenly dumb luck opens a gap in the crowd, we can actually see the street and Tom NAILS the pedal, I was surprised, we bolted from almost a dead standstill to 20-mph in about 15-feet and in one skillful move Tom not only blasted through the parted crowd he also executed a HARD right onto The Strip, screamed down to the next corner, turned right and queued-up at the following stoplight. I was wowed, the little Prius might only have the top-end of a horse-drawn carriage on the freeway but man lemme tell you, below 25-mph you gotta give the electric its props - who knew the Golf Cart would just tear sh!t up in the city! As Tom and I were waiting at the stoplight we get surprised by two flashlights rapping on the windows of the car; I look over and we are flanked by 2 cops I do a doubletake behind us because we hadn't been 'brighted' by a police cruiser. I expected to see a patrol car behind us but instead were two 10-speed bicycles decorated with a couple dozen flashing red & blue LED lights, we had been pulled over by 2 BICYCLE PATROLMEN! I almost spontaneously burst out laughing at the sight of it. Here we are sitting in the middle of 8 cars on and behind us are 2 bicycles completely covered in flashing strobes and 2 patrolmen TOTALLY out of breath - the cop at Tom's door is hoarse as he yells because they've been pedaling after us for over 3/4-mile LOL... These two boys in blue are as PISSED as they are winded, and the cop at my door says "hand me those car keys" and the look on Tom's face was priceless, you could see panic and "JAILTIME" flashing on his forehead LOL. We sat silently for over 20-minutes as countless people stopped to soak-up the sight of us in the Prius blocking the middle of Flamingo Ave lit-up by the flashers from 2 police bicycles - it was very humiliating!!! In the end, we sidestepped real trouble; Tom was given a stern warning to slow his roll on The Strip. We moved on and turned into the parking garage, the tension now gone Tom began to apologize to me for getting pulled over, I reassured him "Tom - it's OK, this whole time I've been trying not to laugh!" At that point we both were laughing almost to tears, I told him that in 25-years of being pulled over tonight was a first because I've never been pulled-over by a BICYCLE!!! Until now! I guess you had to be there. I'm still laughing. Mr. P. Edited September 25, 2009 by Mr. P. (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WODY'S GIRL Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 (edited) Yeah those bicycle cops on the strip are funny i saw them arresting a whole car full of people with open containers in there vehicle. They dont even let you pull off to the side of the road if your in the middle lane they will stop u right there and keep you there blocking traffic and causing a scene Edited September 25, 2009 by WODY'S GIRL (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcsilveradoss Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 AS ALWAYS, a quality Mr. P story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brobradh77 Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 LOL Steve..now you know what its like to ride with you...lol J/K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sprayed99 Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 I knew something like this was going to happen.... cant bring you anywhere without a scene LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black00chev Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hrtbeat1 Posted September 26, 2009 Report Share Posted September 26, 2009 That's funny right there, I don't care who you are. Actually I think I know that guy, I think he works with my Dad. Is he currently from Charleston? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcmahan Posted September 26, 2009 Report Share Posted September 26, 2009 haha way to go Steve lol jk buddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterp Posted September 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 26, 2009 That's funny right there, I don't care who you are. Actually I think I know that guy, I think he works with my Dad. Is he currently from Charleston? ??? I didn't ask Tom; his last name is Vande Stouwe. I promised myself if I passed all these exams I'm buying myself a massage... only one exam to go! Mr. P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wody Posted September 26, 2009 Report Share Posted September 26, 2009 (edited) you should see them attempt the PIT maneuver. Edited September 27, 2009 by WODY™ (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hrtbeat1 Posted September 27, 2009 Report Share Posted September 27, 2009 Good luck with the Massage. Opt for the happy ending! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WODY'S GIRL Posted September 27, 2009 Report Share Posted September 27, 2009 ??? I didn't ask Tom; his last name is Vande Stouwe. I promised myself if I passed all these exams I'm buying myself a massage... only one exam to go! Mr. P. hey now why was I not invited to this massage session lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilindy500 Posted October 1, 2009 Report Share Posted October 1, 2009 Wow did I almost get into trouble today while reading this. I was bored in my Remote Sensing university class today and was browsing SSS and was reading this and burst out laughing. I had to turn off my laptop because I couldn't stop laughing, professor was looking right at me. Thought she was going to say something, luckily she never! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterp Posted October 1, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2009 hey now why was I not invited to this massage session lol Because you're engaged and I actually have respect for your other half. :jester: Unfortunate truth is, I missed passing the last exam by 2 questions. And that was after cramming all Sunday night too. I'll do the retake here in a couple weeks, but in Texas you get arrested asking for a happy ending LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hankg42 Posted October 2, 2009 Report Share Posted October 2, 2009 (edited) Another great Mr. P story! Good luck on re-taking that last test, Steve! Edited October 2, 2009 by Hankg42 (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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