Champion201

I got the following email and had to share. Subject: Pocket Taser Stun Gun . . . Hilarious!!! Read this when you won't get in trouble for Laughing, peeing your pants, and falling out of your chair. Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5 inches long, less than 3/4 inch in diameter; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and. HOLYMOTHER OF GOD. . .WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!! I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to a void getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room. Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative? IT HURT LIKE HELL!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it

Congrats to ya Charlie! Any pictures yet?

Nice plate! I'm still waiting on mine. I ordered it back in late May and have been told that I might get it by late September or early October.

That is one UGLY Gar

I saw that, or another pike just like that if you caught this one, awhile back. Pretty freaky dude.

Why so brutal? IMHO, It really depends on the brand. I could not imagine at that cost they could be all that good. Remember, your brakes are a VERY important component on your truck. You want to know that when you need them they will work. Mike

I'm sure its been done before but lets do it again. Post up a stock picture of your truck and a current one. Here's my 05 VHO right after I gave her her first bath back in September 05 Here she is after her last bath today Cosmeticly Enhanced. Quite the difference huh?

Nope it wont work. Seeing how I am such a nice guy I'll take it of your hands. Pack it up and ship it to me. I'm interested in the link as well

IMHO, chances are you have nothing to worry about. She probably thought maybe you were speeding a little, ran your plate, came back with no issues and figured she would let you go or maybe she got a call about something more important and you got lucky. Mike

Just like others, I was busy counting the 13 passes and didnt even see the bear

.035 here with no issues.

If the deal falls through please let me know Mike

Soory for your luck. Get yourself a Good alarm, Lo-Jack and dont forget The Jimmi Jammer

Thanks, I did use a VISA through paypal so I guess if I dont hear something I'll contact my cc company. I know its only been a week but I have not heard anything from him and according to paypal he completed the transaction last week right after I paid him. I was just kind of hoping I could find his number and contact him to maybe force his hand to at least some sort of action on his part. As far as a dispute goes, I'll have to check ebays rules to see how long I have to wait before they will get involved. Thanks again.

Thanks guys Its actually someone on ebay, as far as I know he's not a member here. Its over some Camera equipment. I just tried that link and its another pay site. Anyone else?

Come on guys, over 30 people have read this. Can anyone help me out? Almost 6 bills involved here and I have not heard from the guy for over aeek. Yes, I have sent several emails. Mike

I need to find the home phone number of a person living in Cypress Texas, lets just say I might have a financial issue concerning an ebay transaction with him and I want to be prepared if it turns out that I do. I have his email address and I do believe I found his home address but I would like to find his home number but its unlisted. I really dont want to post his name here, yet, so if anyone can help me out please PM me and I'll provide the name or of anyone knows of a free online service post it up. Yes I've already tried 411, anywho, switchboard, whitepages as well as a couple others Thanks in advance, Mike

Spoiled rotten little Miss Marilyn

HOLY CRAP!! So you mean to say that they will actually have a real big foot sighting on camera? BWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

What, no "Spy" photo's

Here's mine. Blown 2005 VHO

Damn dude, that sucks! Do as the doctor says, take care of yourself and as soon as your better go out and do a burn out in the SSS Mike

Great write up Dave. You made some great points that are dead on bud. Now I’ll inject my 02. In case you all haven’t figured it out yet I've been West Coast tournament bass fishing for quite a few years so I've got plenty of experience in getting sponsors. In addition to my automotive sponsors I also have quite a few fishing sponsors. The biggest trick to getting sponsors is when you approach them with your proposal for possible sponsorship you need to convince them that by giving you some kind of assistance you will increase their sales as well as be a good spokesman for them. Never come across like, "Give me stuff" Make sure your proposal is professional as well as interjecting a bit of personality in it. Remember, they get hundreds if not thousands of requests daily so you need to stand out. Put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself, why should I give this guy my product? What’s in it for me? How can I benefit? Just like Dave said, always let them make the decision to give you a full sponsorship, free stuff, or a partial one, meaning you get the product at a reduced price. Be sure to follow through with your commitments and contractual agreements because once you pick up some major sponsors the word gets out and then sponsors start to approach you asking if they can sponsor you. I currently have several companies that have approached me and I'm contemplating accepting their offers. I have also turned down more than one sponsor because I did not believe in their product. Like I said before with any sponsors you have to sell yourself and it really helps if you offer them something they don’t already have. Follow up with phone calls inquiring if they had a chance to review your proposal? The big trick to this part is to be a little persistent without being pushy. When you talk to them remember a few of the personal things they might have mentioned about them, make notes if need be and the next time you talk mention it. Example, if they say something to the effect that they have not been able to review it because they have a sick child and have not been able to have allot of extra time then ask when would be a good time for you to call back. When you call back ALWAYS address them by their first name, makes it more personal, then somewhere in the conversation ask how their child is doing and REALLY be concerned. No matter what the outcome, ALWAYS, ALWAYS remain positive and professional! You would be surprised just how "Tight" the major manufactures are, if word gets out that your pissy with an attitude problem then you might as well write off the possibility of anyone sponsoring you. I have seen it happen to more than one person in the bass fishing circuit. In closing let me say that Dave is 100% correct, acquiring sponsors is not easy. Its hard work getting them and keeping them is just as difficult. Mike

Yo Dave, sorry to hear about your loss, I know how much your truck meant to you. Always remember, everything in life happens for a reason, we dont have to like the reason or understand it but we have to accept it and learn from it. Take care buddy. Mike

Waiting patiently.