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Wife caught me in bed


Mcskandlss

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My wife came home early from work and caught me in the sack with another woman. Man, was she pissed!

 

"You disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me, a faithful wife and the mother of your child? I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right now!"

 

I replied, "Hang on just a minute, so at least I can tell you what happened"

 

"Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

 

"Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty."

 

"She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.”

 

”Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, since she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. Then, I found that sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her and then I donated those boots I bought you at that expensive boutique that you don't wear because someone at work has a pair like them."

 

”Well,” I continued, "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please, tell me, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?’”

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