ItsJac Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 (edited) No Sex Tonight I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ somuch. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. Ihave never figured out why men think with their head and women withtheir heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don'tfeel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough forme to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to mypuzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and notwhat I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time withher. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, bigunnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried onseveral very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take soI told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to complimenther new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went ontothe jewelry department where she picked out pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was onewave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me becauseshe asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to playtennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." Shewas almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is alldear, let's go to the cashier. "I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with abaffled---- WHAT?"I then said "honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for meto satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. Edited September 8, 2006 by ItsJac (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 I've heard it before, but still funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stiff1 Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 That's great! I love it!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hot rod truck Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 He'll be sleeping on the couch too... but that's like camping out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tawss04 Posted September 8, 2006 Report Share Posted September 8, 2006 I've heard it before, but still funny. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaymoney Posted September 9, 2006 Report Share Posted September 9, 2006 Thats some funny shit. I dont think i will try that because i kind of like sleeping in my bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJSmyth Posted September 9, 2006 Report Share Posted September 9, 2006 thats efin funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redmax Posted September 9, 2006 Report Share Posted September 9, 2006 just gotta decide is the **** worth it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dannyc_2006_SS Posted September 9, 2006 Report Share Posted September 9, 2006 LOL Got to save that one in the back of my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaymoney Posted September 9, 2006 Report Share Posted September 9, 2006 Words of advice save it dont use it. If you do she will never let you forget it. Youll be 75 years old and she will bring that crap up and your ass will be sleeping in your wheel chair under the outside patio. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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