Bad Bowtie Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 #1 A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221." #2 One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh. "The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" #3 Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed. Yes, I did." he replied. My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" " Oh...she got fired too." #4 A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brobradh77 Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Thanks needed those Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PladdPezzPunk Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 those are great Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoolBlueSS Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevebbb Posted January 3, 2007 Report Share Posted January 3, 2007 Those were great. I think I better pass them around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pimp ss Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Those were awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixsupersport Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 lmao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2006SilverSS Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 read them all before, but they are good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wody Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 could have done without the last one. the visual made it kind of sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
team3and8 Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 Good ones. Thanks for the morning laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
06redSSrwd Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 i'll definitely be sharing those with my friends, thanks! ES Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyrome Posted January 4, 2007 Report Share Posted January 4, 2007 funny stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thor__1 Posted January 5, 2007 Report Share Posted January 5, 2007 i'll have to share those with th e guys at work. they'll love em!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.