Stitches040 Posted February 5, 2009 Report Share Posted February 5, 2009 (edited) HIGH SCHOOL--1957 vs. 2007 Scenario 1: Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack. 1957 -Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack. 2007 -School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. Scenario 2: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school. 1957 -Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2007 -Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it. Scenario 3: Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students. 1957 -Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. 2007 -Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability. Scenario 4: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 1957 -Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to co llege and becomes a successful businessman. 2007 -Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist. Scenario 5: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. 1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock. 2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug vio lations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons. Scenario 6: Pedro fails high school English. 1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college. 2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. Scenario 7: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red fire ant mound. 1957 - Ants die. 2007- ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. Scenario 8: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy. ... ... ... Edited February 5, 2009 by Stitches040 (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANGRYGREG Posted February 5, 2009 Report Share Posted February 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcsilveradoss Posted February 5, 2009 Report Share Posted February 5, 2009 does anyone know how to contact pedro? my lawn guy quit last year and i need to line one up for this summer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WODY'S GIRL Posted February 5, 2009 Report Share Posted February 5, 2009 Sad but so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaymz Posted February 5, 2009 Report Share Posted February 5, 2009 Sad but so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8hnpSS Posted February 5, 2009 Report Share Posted February 5, 2009 Sad but so true. yepppp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin sk_josh Posted February 5, 2009 Admin Report Share Posted February 5, 2009 Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG06SILVERADO Posted February 5, 2009 Report Share Posted February 5, 2009 boy how things have changed!!! sux because it's true!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F1SSS Posted February 5, 2009 Report Share Posted February 5, 2009 (edited) I can relate with Mark, I have to hide my back medications (if I need one in public) because they are "controlled" and "narcotic" subtstances (I dont share these like Mark). Its so true x4. I do lawns.....too bad I am in MA. Id take care of ya. Edited February 6, 2009 by 03maSSS (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slammedbowtie Posted February 6, 2009 Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 holy crap that was well thought out and sad by true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubdaddy420 Posted February 6, 2009 Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 I thought it was supposed to be, the joke of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.