Blond Jokes

[chevygal]

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

 

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

 

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

 

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

 

 

Blonde Sky Divers

 

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.

 

The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.

 

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

 

The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

 

 

I'm going ice fishing!

 

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

 

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".

 

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

 

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

 

"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.

 

So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."

 

 

Your kid has been kidnapped

 

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

 

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."

 

She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."

 

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?

[zippy]

I've heard most of those before, but that last one is really funny and new to me.