Stiff1 Posted December 12, 2006 Report Share Posted December 12, 2006 I don't know if these are a repost or not, but this is pretty funny! Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a f**king book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid Mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice LEGOs instead. Santa -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid Francis, nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself Marky, that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent project. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onyx_ss Posted December 12, 2006 Report Share Posted December 12, 2006 Man those are hilarious! Onyx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rivierakid55 Posted December 12, 2006 Report Share Posted December 12, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
victorredss Posted December 12, 2006 Report Share Posted December 12, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
06redSSrwd Posted December 12, 2006 Report Share Posted December 12, 2006 so wrong yet so funny. the one where he tells the boy he gets in just like the burglars do, through his bedroom window and then tells him sweet dreams. LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallen.One05 Posted December 12, 2006 Report Share Posted December 12, 2006 I have a new favorite saying... "Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane." :crackup: :crackup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tawss04 Posted December 13, 2006 Report Share Posted December 13, 2006 (edited) I live in Fl Santa, WTF do I need a sweater for I want the dog. Timmy And I hate being called Timmy Edited December 13, 2006 by tawss04 (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misterp Posted December 13, 2006 Report Share Posted December 13, 2006 so wrong yet so funny. Dear Santa, please send me a babysitter for Christmas. Mr. P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jond983 Posted December 13, 2006 Report Share Posted December 13, 2006 banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane...wow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texas_Veteran Posted December 13, 2006 Report Share Posted December 13, 2006 Now thats my kind of Santa! I want to party with that guy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim Posted December 13, 2006 Report Share Posted December 13, 2006 Who names their kid Francis, nowadays? I bet you're gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
04CHASE Posted December 13, 2006 Report Share Posted December 13, 2006 BiLLy sound like sum 1 wid dem BIG weeeels Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChevySSandChevy8.1 Posted December 13, 2006 Report Share Posted December 13, 2006 (edited) BiLLy sound like sum 1 wid dem BIG weeeels <{POST_SNAPBACK}> only 3 big wheels now. Edited December 13, 2006 by ChevySSandChevy8.1 (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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