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Bad Bowtie

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Posts posted by Bad Bowtie

  1. JOTD: The Mirror.

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin.

     

    In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it. Not ever having seen a mirror before, he's remarked at the image staring back at him!!

     

    'How 'bout that"! he exclaims, 'Here's a picture of my Fadder.' He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go there and look at it.

     

    His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed. So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the mirror.

     

    As she peaked inside her face caught the mirror's glass, she fumed, "So that's the ugly bit@h he's running around with!!!" 

     

    :jester:

  7. JOTD: The Vet Hat & Walmart.

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    A few days ago a friend of mine sent me a 'Viet Nam Veteran' hat.

     

    I never had one of these before and I was pretty hyped about it, especially

     

    because my friend was considerate enough to take the time to give it to me.

     

    Yesterday, I wore it when I went to WalMart.

     

    There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, enough of my psychological fixes.

     

    While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vet Nam Vet?"

     

    "No" I replied.

     

    "Then why are you wearing that hat?"

     

    "Because I couldn't find my hat from the War of 1812." I thought it was a snappy retort.

     

    "The War of 1812 huh" the Walmartian queried,

     

    "When was that?"

     

    God forgive but, I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936"

     

    He pondered my response for a moment and responded,

     

    "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"

     

    "It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way too fun.

     

    "Dude! Really!" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"

     

    I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure.. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."

     

    "Dude!", he was really getting excited about what he was hearing.

     

    "That is seriously Awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"

     

    "Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage." The moron nodded knowingly.

     

    "Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still Top Secret and I shouldn't have said anything."

     

    "Oh yeah." he gave me the "don't threaten me look. "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"

     

    With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them would we?"

     

    The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door.

     

    By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.

     

    After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.

     

    Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the "I see you" gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

     

    What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with a Homeland Security hat.

     

    Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of hat... :jester:

  13. JOTD: Depression.

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

     

    Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."

     

    Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

     

    I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc .... I called a Suicide Hotline.

     

    I had to press 1 for English!!!

     

    Then I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.....

     

    They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck...!!! :ohmy:

     

     

     

    Folks, we're screwed.... :huh:

  15. Parenting

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    :withstupid:I remember one "bad day" with my 3 yr/old girl. We took an "extended weekend" up to the OK City Zoo, in OK.

     

    It was towards the middle of our last day there, we had woke up and got an early start. My daughter was getting tired, hot, & she just started (what would become) a HELLACIUOS fit over demanding a toy stuffed elephant. We were deep into the very back of this particular zoo, mind you. The lady at the booth told me they were temp closed due to a cash register problem- They couldn't sell anything until it was fixed.

     

    Again, we were at the back of this zoo!! I'm also pretty hard on my girl, at times, too. Teaching her respect & manners that shock a lot of people we encounter out in public on a daily basis. Most feel she is very mature acting for her age.

     

    Her fit started out as crying, then trying to isolate herself from us, then an all out screaming & kicking fit errupted about halfway out of this zoo. I had to scoop her up and carry her the rest of the way, feeling like a real heal of a dad the whole rest of the way out. She had never had one of these episodes before. Sure, I've seen other parents in this situation, but I never thought I'd "be there".

     

    Well, my 3 yr/old seemed to have skipped the "terrible 2's" and saved all of it for her 3's. LOL!! :blink:

     

    I saw 2 different park officials staring & giving me the eye on the way out. Then a lady sherrifs deputy walked slowly by us on the other side of this one wide path, going back the other way. She was definitely curious to say the least. (later I told my wife I was glad she was "nosey" though).

     

    I just knew I was about to get tasered as a child kidapper or something. :crazy:

     

    We made it to the truck & she was still kicking, screaming, & fighting with both of us.

     

    Needless to say, and to my wifes shock, I headed straight back home (to TX) from that very Zoo parking lot. My daughter then started crying saying she didn't want to go back home yet. We originally had one more adventure planned that afternoon & then visit with an aunt before we left OK. My daughter fell asleep before we even got out of OK City, OK. She was so tired. :happy:

     

    I told my wife that IF she hadn't been with me & pushing an "empty" stroller, I might have been tasered & handcuffed that afternoon.

     

    This fit that my daughter still scares me to this day, 1.5 years later. My girl has only had 1 other fit CLOSE to that one since that horrible day... (thank God).

     

     

    Now I know I'm not a perfect parent- I'm always learning. I try my best, just to be 1/2 the parent my father was (I was blessed there). But I feel some days we are just at their mercy....

  23. 350 SS

    in Video & Photography

    Posted · Edited by Bad Bowtie (see edit history)

    Those front door badges (in the molding) are aftermarket.

     

    I know for a fact that Stylin Concepts used to sell those in their catalogs.

     

    The 350SS trucks sold back in the 1990's were just GM dealer marketing sells tools. A simple decal package with very similar 454ss bed flank decals. No extra HP or performance mods at all. Well, unless a "cool" dealer decided to go 3 steps further... :cool:

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