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shreveportSS

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Posts posted by shreveportSS

  2. Dear Alcohol

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    Dear Alcohol,

     

    First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my

    friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work

    cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays,

    hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of

    endless family gatherings. However, lately I've been wondering about your

    intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at

    heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences:

     

    1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I

    question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity

    takes place after 2 a.m.

     

    2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I

    eat a taco with fire sauce, along with a big Italian meatball and some

    stale bbq chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a

    few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater, but I think

    you went too far this time.

     

    3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do

    more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by

    causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black & blue

    marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me.

    Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front

    door key into the lock. (And i know what my bathtub looks like i don't

    need a close up of it after falling off the pot, it's really hard to get

    outta there.)

     

    4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting

    ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery

    may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely

    unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions

    are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to

    sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn,

    the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily

    activities.

     

    Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to

    ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great

    stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when

    I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.

     

    In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my

    grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no

    later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions &

    hopefully, we can continue this fruitful partnership.

     

    Thank you,

    Your biggest fan

     

    P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

    1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon

    5. Statistic

     

    THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

    1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive-aggressive disorder

     

    THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

    1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

    2. Nope, no more beer for me.

    3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

    4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

    5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

    6. Fight? No way. Let's sit down and talk this out

    7. Text message? No I have sent enough for the night

    8. Dance? No I shouldn't. I should just sit here on the barstool

  8. Racism!

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    I want to get the phrases "small penis" and "little, or tiny dick" banned. It is racist and hurtfull. :troll:

     

    So if taco wagon, refering to a hispanic's car is racist, is "Ricer" racist too?? It refers to Japanese cars.

     

    Sometimes things are posted or said that are taken the wrong way, but certain traits make us who we are. I honestly believe all this political correctness is bullshit. If I get into a conversation with someone on this board and we decide to meet for one reason or another, I may find out the hard way that he is a racist ****. I think everyone should have the opportunity to convey who they really are within reason. In other words, I want to find out if you are an **** before I meet you, not after the fact. :dunno:

  9. Racism!

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    What really gets me is that anyone judges another without getting to know them. I have met some of the finest humans on earth, but my first impression was, I don't know about this one. We all have our issues, but I'm not qualified to judge anyone.

  15. Witnessed actual clouds being made

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted · Edited by shreveportSS (see edit history)

    this reminds me of one time my dad and i were out fishing in the gulf and i was maybe 6 or 7 at the time. we were in the boat and i saw a funnel cloud for the first time and he told me that is how fish get put into ponds and lake. he said the clouds sucks them up then when it rains it rains fish and that was how the fish got put into lakes. needless to say at school i got into a big argument with my teacher about this and told my dad when i got home and he just started rolling out of his chair and told me he was kidding about that. :fume: it wasnt to funny then but i get a good laugh when i think about now that i know better. :rollin:

    I thought birds ate fertilized eggs and pooped them in the lakes and rivers spreading the fish. :dunno:

  16. HAS A FRIEND

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    I was at a dealership here in Shreveport and saw a sharp looking new RCSB with XSS (the X was red and the SS was chrome) on the side and my first thought was LS2 or LS7. Nope freakin 4.3 V6. I got to looking and it was a dealer package. I told them it was sacreligious. :banghead:

  19. Test Drove Trailblazer SS

    in General SS

    Posted · Edited by shreveportSS (see edit history)

    I agree, Keep the SSS and trade the Colorado in. I paid $23,950 in July of 06.

     

    I ran 13.549 with just a tune.

     

    Fuel mileage sucks, unless I get off into it and then it really sucks.

    I get about 14-15 daily use. 18 hwy in a perfect world. 16 hwy real world. Hardest part is driving normal.

  23. ran an 06 GTO

    in Street

    Posted

    Yeah there quick cars but it was also brand new so maybe he wasnt raping it as hard as he could have been but you said you saw the headlights jump when he switched gears. I absolutly love driving a 6 speed LS1 or I think those are an LS4 but I maybe wrong but either way its seems to me the prime gear for hauling ass in those things is 2nd but mostly 3rd. Good job though. Hell i havent really got into any races in my SSS yet. I used to race all the time in my s10

    They are LS2, The same motor that propells my TBSS to mid 13s and powers the Vetts.

  24. ran an 06 GTO

    in Street

    Posted

    well was coming home from work last night and say a brand new gto still had the paper plates on it. well to make it short we finally caught the same light after playing around a bit. i am still having trouble believing this myself but the light turned green we both nailed. i got a good jump on him and stayed out in front up to about 45mph then he very slowly pulled away from me i still cant believe how well my truck did aginst a gto. i thought that maybe he wasnt getting on it but i knew he had to have been i the gas pretty hard because i remember seeing his headlight jump in my mirror everytime he changed gears.  :driving:

     

    A kill is a kill. :thumbs:

    He just needs to learn to drive it. I have seen many stock GTOs run in the 12s with the right driver. Then again, he may always suck. :dunno:

  25. not for the light hearted

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted · Edited by shreveportSS (see edit history)

    http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/12/saddam-...-execution.html

     

     

    if you let the video play and then rewind it a very little at the end, and then press play and pause quickly it will show a picture of saddam with his neck all strechched out, it is nasty, and you have to do it right, it is easy and kinda worth it.

     

     

    :sick:

     

    Like this

    http://www.goregasm.com/old/view_attachment.php?id=296859

    :jester:

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