SSplaytoy Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 Just thought about this instead of just the J.O.T.D..... Hopefully we can go about this without being brutally offensive or racist. No one is here to hurt anyone else's feelings so try not to take the posts to heart...They are just jokes people So here goes: A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when a 10 year old little boy walks by. The priest takes another look back at the little boy and then taps the rabbi on the shoulder and says, "Hey, you see that little boy?" "Yea" the rabbi says. "Let's f**k him" Looking at the priest confused, "Outta what?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rivierakid55 Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 this is tough...i just went over half a dozen jokes in my head and really none are suited for public forums. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSplaytoy Posted October 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 this is tough...i just went over half a dozen jokes in my head and really none are suited for public forums. That's what I thought. I woulda posted this in gasoline alley at least but I don't know how to become a supporting member anymore. I actually have a little bit of money to spare now and there is no more link Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merc Dr. Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 My favorite of all time: Why did God give women yeast infections? So they know what it's like to live with an irratating c*nt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idahoBLKss Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 these are to good not to share ... enjoy... How the fight started...... One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started... ________________________________ I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?' And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.' And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... ________________________________ My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started... ________________________________ My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, 'Do you know him?' 'Yes,' she sighed, He's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' I said, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... ________________________________ I rear-ended a car this morning... So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiSSSted Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 (edited) A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out ofthe bar and stops the guy. 'What the heck are you doing ?' he asks the drunk. 'I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it.' he replies. 'So how does feeling the roof help you ?' asks the puzzled manager. 'Well,' replies the drunk earnestly, 'MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!' =================================================================== Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a White Trash Biker are all walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie. The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada ' POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming. Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.' POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries. The Biker says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.' The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.' The Biker sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lights a cigar, smiles and says, "Fill it with water." Edited October 9, 2009 by twiSSSted (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcsilveradoss Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiSSSted Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 If you have sex with a prostitute against her will is it rape or shoplifting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaymz Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 If you have sex with a prostitute against her will is it rape or shoplifting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcmahan Posted October 9, 2009 Report Share Posted October 9, 2009 you know who likes to get fisted?????????????????????????????? sock puppets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lololololololol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepingcrna Posted October 10, 2009 Report Share Posted October 10, 2009 What's the difference between a triscuit cracker and a lesbian ?? One's a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punisher Posted October 10, 2009 Report Share Posted October 10, 2009 This is a Chicago joke for Sox fans. So there was mama bear, papa bear, and baby bear. Mama bear and papa bear went to court and got a divorce. The judge sent baby bear with papa bear, but papa bear would beat baby bear. So the judge took baby bear from papa bear, and gave him to mama bear, but mama bear also beat baby bear. They went back to court and the judge looked at baby bear and said, "Give him to the Chicago Cubs, they never beat anybody!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diggerdan11 Posted October 10, 2009 Report Share Posted October 10, 2009 So there is a Doctor, a Preacher and an Engineer playing Golf. They are getting ready to tee off but in front of them are a bunch of guys trying to play golf, they are swinging and missing, and hitting the wrong direction, and taking forever. So the Doctor, the Preacher and the Engineer get a little frustrated and they flag down the Marshal. They ask the Marshal, hey whats up with these guys hitting the ball the wrong direction and walking all over the place. The Marshal says: "Well those are a group of ex firefighters, who tragically lost there sight trying to put out the fire we had in the club house last year" The Preacher says: " wow i feel so sorry for those brave men, im going to pray for them everyday, and get everyone in my whole church to do the same and hopefully with the help of god they will regain there sight" The Doctor Says: " you know i know another doctor who might be able to help them regain there sight, I will give him a call and see what he can do" And the Engineer looks at the Marshal and says: "Why Cant They Just Golf at Night" I always thought this joke was funny especially because my dad is an engineer and that is totaly something he would say Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turbocoop Posted October 11, 2009 Report Share Posted October 11, 2009 (edited) YOU:Theres 3 black roosters sitting on a fence, how many beaks are there? THEM: 3 YOU:How many eyes are there? THEM: 6 YOU: How many wings? THEM: 6 YOU: A white cat jumps up on the fence, how much does it weigh? THEM: I dunno... YOU: So youre saying you know more about black cocks than white pu**y? Fag Edited October 11, 2009 by Turbocoop (see edit history) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSplaytoy Posted October 11, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2009 YOU:Theres 3 black roosters sitting on a fence, how many beaks are there?THEM: 3 YOU:How many eyes are there? THEM: 6 YOU: How many wings? THEM: 6 YOU: A white cat jumps up on the fence, how much does it weigh? THEM: I dunno... YOU: So youre saying you know more about black cocks than white pu**y? Fag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.