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Bad Bowtie

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Posts posted by Bad Bowtie

  4. JOTD: The Mating Call.

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering,'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

    The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,.'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'

    The Indian replied, 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.

    Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'
    Immediately, there was the answer.'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

    The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found.There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'

    He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!'With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

     

    The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read...............

    NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN !!! :crackup:

  7. Car theft in Cen-Cal

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    So for the time being until I get a switch, I pulled the 2 40 amp maxi fuses for the ignition on the truck. Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S4 using Tapatalk 4

     

    Do anything you can to coast the would be punk time. Pull those fuses, set your parking brake too, etc.

     

    Someone on here (years back) added a hydraulic brake line lock as part of his "anti-theft" regiment.... :thumbsup:

  12. JOTD: The Bathing Blonde.

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 50 gallons of milk.

    The milkman read the note and he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

    The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 50 gallons of milk. Did you mean 5 gallons?"

    The blonde said, "I want 50 quarts. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

    The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

    The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits, I'll splash it on my face". :jester:

  16. JOTD: Elk Hunting....

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    A Californian and an Arizonian were Elk hunting in the Hualapai Mountains when an illegal alien runs across a clearing.

    The Arizonian takes careful aim, shoots, and kills him.

    "You can't do that!" cried the Californian.

    "No, no... Remember this is a Red State, it's legal here in Arizona" replies the Arizonian.

    Later that night the Californian goes to Kingman to buy some beer from Wal-Mart. He puts the beer on the roof of his truck and while he's making room behind the seat, an illegal alien runs by, grabs the beer, and runs away.

    The Californian thinks "No problem." draws his pistol, shoots, and kills him.

    As he is retrieving his beer the police come and arrest him.

    "But I thought it was legal to shoot illegal aliens here in Arizona!" protests the Californian.

    "Well yeah," says the cop, "but you can't use bait!!" nono.gif:happysad:

  22. JOTD: The Sensual Wife....

    in Off-Topic/General

    Posted

    With a very seductive voice a woman asked her husband "Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?"

     

    "No", he replied.

     

    She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft silky push-up bra and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

     

    He took the crumpled twenty dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.

    She then asked him "Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?"

     

    "Uh...no I haven't" he said with an anxious tone in his voice.

     

    She gave him another sexy little smile pulled up her skirt and seductively reached into her tight sheer panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

     

    He took the crumpled fifty dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

    "Now" she said "Have you ever seen $50,000 all crumpled up?"

     

    "No way!!!" he said, while obviously becoming even more aroused and excited.

     

    "Well, go look in the garage...." she said. :cry:

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